My Last 30 Days

Several Years ago, I lived through the passing of my mother; although she was told that she would not survive for more than 12 months after she was diagnosed,  for 11 years, she fought a good fight as she survived Lupus,. Today, I still reminisce the passing of my mother but also deliberate the question: “If I am told that I have 30 days to live, what would I do within these 30 days?”

What would I do? Fundamental, the answer rests within what I would consider my legacy—am I self-centered focus or others-centered focus? 
1. Why would I want to be remembered? 
2. What do I want people to remember about me? 
3. Are my achievements really worth remembering? 
4. Is it what I do for myself or what I do for others?

Looking at lives of great leaders of the past, what they did to help others stood out as the greatest of their legacies; it is what made them who they were and who they are now. Simplification, if I am given 30 days to live, logically, what I can do for others with selfless habits of giving my all should be my pledge. Wait a minute, why couldn’t I do this every day? Why wait until 30 days before I die? 

Well, life has her blinder on and naturally leads me down the aisles of my own ambition making me believe that “I am a mortal to my destiny and the captain of my fate” as I obsessively seek achievements. Do I seek the top of the mountain only to find bloody trails that others left on the way up? Am I chartering new trail of injustices with the only just thing to do is to achieve? My victims are those that I have shut down their voices, those that I’ve turn away their helping hands, those that I have obliterate their open hearts, and those that I’ve murdered their souls. 

Let me passionately curious about the last 30 days of my life each day; let me be dimensionally mindful of the natural engagements that surround my path each day so I can remove the blinder of my egotistical passion to achieve and let me be a zealously person of give 

Yes, my last 30 days are days to Forgive and Give and NOT to Achieve. "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."   

INVICTUS by William Ernest Henley

For my unconquerable soul, 

out of the night covers me.

Black as the pit from pole to pole

I thank [God perhaps]

For my unconquerable soul

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the horror of the shade

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid

It matter not how strait the gate

How charged with punishments the scroll

I am the master of my fate

I am the captain of my soul