Tired and his eyes are growing old

Father's Day 

 

May-20-2018

 

I got there this Sunday morning, to my brother's house; my father came down from his room and opened the front door. The dull smile on his face matches his sacking eyes coupled with dim and gray fuzzy silver hairs as he murmured while opening the door, “hi kepa.” Kepa is a part of my middle name as I am commonly called--Tangata'olakepa. He sat down on the couch as I sat by the dining table in front of him and asked, “Fefe hake?” He mentioned the ache and discomfort that he, sometimes endured. Jokingly he said, “mahalo koe ha’u ia ‘a e kaume’a”—maybe it is death knocking. Father's Day 

 

May-20-2018

 

I got there this Sunday morning, to my brother's house; my father came down from his room and opened the front door. The dull smile on his face matches his sacking eyes coupled with dim and gray fuzzy silver hairs as he murmured while opening the door, “hi kepa.” Kepa is a part of my middle name as I am commonly called--Tangata'olakepa. He sat down on the couch as I sat by the dining table in front of him and asked, “Fefe hake?” He mentioned the ache and discomfort that he, sometimes endured. Jokingly he said, “mahalo koe ha’u ia ‘a e kaume’a”—maybe it is death knocking. 

This Sunday was Father's Day for the Tongan's community. Hence, it is a common tradition to honor fathers during Sunday church service. We went to Church and were given leis by the ladies because it was Father's Day; he resisted, for he is not one that like attention being drawn to himself. However, he thought better of it because he didn’t want to make the ladies feel unappreciated. The service was long; about an hour and half later, it was over, we were one of the first out the door.

Back from Church, he opened the door to the house as he whispered “namu lelei tama koe luu” He probably sat at church with his mind on the “Luu” he went up and change came back down and fixed him a luu; he bowed his head for a prayer; hummm, unusually long for a dinner prayer. As he ate—“ifo tama ki’i luu” We talked about family in Tonga, family around the US and his plan on going with ‘Ofa and Ngia to Tonga. He is looking forward to it; although he feels weak, he is determined to go and help his niece (Sesi).

Since my father left Tongan in 1975, it was his ultimate mission to bring us to the United States. Us meaning my mother and all of my sibling. I could not imagine the difficulty he faced. His experiences were dictated by a family dynamic ruled by a matriarchal grandmother, (my Grandmother Manongi). Her grand vision captured the entirety of her children. She was a tough woman that doesn't hold back speaking her minds regardless of who was listening. Slightly controlling and understood the concept of duplicity. She had a fearless yet respectful bond with her children. Her children placed her on a pedestal.   (cont…)

On my way home, this song came on the radio. It is an old familiar song by Dan Forgelberg but some of the verses spoke to how my relationship and how I look up to my father.

The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band

I thank you for the music and your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go
I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got tough
And papa, I don't think I said I love you near enough

 

Tangata'olakepa 

 

This Sunday was Father's Day for the Tongan's community. Hence, it is a common tradition to honor fathers during Sunday church service. We went to Church and were given leis by the ladies because it was Father's Day; he resisted, for he is not one that like attention being drawn to himself. However, he thought better of it because he didn’t want to make the ladies feel unappreciated. The service was long; about an hour and half later, it was over, we were one of the first out the door.

Back from Church, he opened the door to the house as he whispered “namu lelei tama koe luu” He probably sat at church with his mind on the “Luu” he went up and change came back down and fixed him a luu; he bowed his head for a prayer; hummm, unusually long for a dinner prayer. As he ate—“ifo tama ki’i luu” We talked about family in Tonga, family around the US and his plan on going with ‘Ofa and Ngia to Tonga. He is looking forward to it; although he feels weak, he is determined to go and help his niece (Sesi).

Since my father left Tongan in 1975, it was his ultimate mission to bring us to the United States. Us meaning my mother and all of my sibling. I could not imagine the difficulty he faced. His experiences were dictated by a family dynamic ruled by a matriarchal grandmother, (my Grandmother Manongi). Her grand vision captured the entirety of her children. She was a tough woman that doesn't hold back speaking her minds regardless of who was listening. Slightly controlling and understood the concept of duplicity. She had a fearless yet respectful bond with her children. Her children placed her on a pedestal.   (cont…)

On my way home, this song came on the radio. It is an old familiar song by Dan Forgelberg but some of the verses spoke to how my relationship and how I look up to my father.

The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band

I thank you for the music and your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go
I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got tough
And papa, I don't think I said I love you near enough

 

Tangata'olakepa