Forgiving What You Can't Forget

 

Forgiving What You Can't Forget

Text Psalm 34:15-22

¹⁵ The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
    and his ears are attentive to their cry;
¹⁶ but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
    to blot out their name from the earth.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
    he delivers them from all their troubles.
¹⁸ The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ The righteous person may have many troubles,
    but the Lord delivers him from them all;
²⁰ he protects all his bones,
    not one of them will be broken.

²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;
    the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
²² The Lord will rescue his servants;
    no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

Introduction: Today we will wrap up our forgiveness series, I want to speak on a difficult but incredibly important topic: Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. This is not an easy subject because it speaks to the deepest wounds of our hearts, the deepest hurt of our lives, perhaps the most sacred and darkest corner of our souls—those moments when we’ve been hurt by someone, and the pain lingers long after the event has passed.

-       Physical abused

-       Sexual abused

-       Emotional abused

-       Mental abused

-       Abandoned

-       Broken Relationship

-       etc….

We all have moments that are hidden in our lives where we've been wronged in many ways that are hard to forgive but remember it like yesterday. Although it was during our childhood, but the memory is clear as day.  Perhaps the hurt was so deep, the betrayal so personal, or the loss so significant and life altering that the memory seems almost impossible to let go of. But the question remains: How can we/I forgive what we can’t forget?

1. Acknowledging the Pain: Forgiveness is not about ignoring the pain or pretending it didn’t happen. It's not about sweeping the hurt under the rug or dismissing your feelings. God sees your hurt and He understands it deeply. In fact, He encourages us to bring our pain to Him. Psalm 34:18 reminds us that "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

We need to first acknowledge the pain we feel. Whether it's betrayal by a friend, the wounds of a broken relationship, or the scars from a past injustice, Psalm 34:15, “The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry;” pretending it doesn’t hurt will not bring healing. Denying the wound keeps us trapped in a cycle of hurt and bitterness. But the beauty of the gospel is that we serve a God who can handle our emotions, our pain, and our struggles. We can bring all of our questions, all of our tears, and all of our anger to Him. Psalm 34:17, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.”

2. The Call to Forgive: Jesus calls us to forgive—whether the offense is big or small. In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asks Jesus, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

At first glance, this may seem impossible. Seventy-seven times? That’s a lot of forgiveness! But Jesus is not saying we should forgive in a formulaic way, keeping track of every offense. Rather, He is teaching us that forgiveness should be a continual practice, not a one-time event. It’s about choosing, over and over again, to release the anger, resentment, and desire for vengeance.

Forgiveness doesn't mean the offense didn't matter or that we condone what was done to us. It means we are letting go of the right to get even and trusting that God will handle justice in His time. In Romans 12:19, Paul tells us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord."

3. The Role of God's Grace in Forgiveness: When we struggle to forgive, it's helpful to remember how much we've been forgiven. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

It’s easy to forget how much God has forgiven us. But when we reflect on the depth of His grace toward us, it can inspire us to extend that same grace to others. Jesus’ forgiveness of our sins, at great cost to Himself, sets the standard for our forgiveness. In light of what He has done for us, forgiving others becomes not only possible, but necessary.

It’s important to remember that forgiveness is an act of grace. It’s not based on the other person’s deserving it, but on God's work in us. Forgiveness is a decision we make, empowered by God's love, to release someone from the debt they owe us.

4. Forgiveness Does Not Mean Forgetting: Here is the key point: Forgiving is not the same as forgetting. Often, when we think about forgiveness, we imagine that in order to truly forgive, we must completely forget the wrong that was done to us. But that is not what the Bible teaches.

Forgetting the hurt is often impossible, especially when it has deeply wounded our hearts. But forgiveness is about choosing not to allow the memory of the offense to control us or to keep us in bondage. Forgiveness is a way of saying, "Though I may never forget what you did, I choose to no longer hold it against you."

In Isaiah 43:25, God says, “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” This doesn’t mean God has a selective memory. It means that He chooses to no longer hold our sins against us. In the same way, when we forgive, we choose to let go of the anger and bitterness tied to that memory.

Forgiveness is not erasing the memory, but choosing to release its power over us. We may still remember the pain, but by God’s grace, it no longer defines us or controls our actions.

5. The Healing Power of Forgiveness: Finally, forgiveness is not just for the one who wronged us—it’s for us as well. Holding onto unforgiveness is like carrying around a heavy burden. It weighs us down, poisons our hearts, and keeps us stuck in the past. But when we choose to forgive, we are set free. Psalm 34:22, “The Lord will rescue his servants; no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.”

Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). The truth is that we have been forgiven by a loving God, and when we forgive others, we experience His freedom and peace. It's in the act of forgiveness that we find healing—not just for the one who has wronged us, but for our own hearts.

Conclusion: So, how do we forgive what we can’t forget?

-       We begin by acknowledging the pain.

-       We trust God’s call to forgive, remembering the grace He has extended to us.

-       We choose to release the other person from the debt they owe us, knowing that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, but choosing to no longer hold the offense against them.

-       And, most importantly, we allow God’s healing power to transform our hearts and minds as we walk in forgiveness.

Let us pray.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, we come before You today with our pain and our hurt. You know the depths of our wounds, and You understand the struggle of forgiving those who have wronged us. Lord, help us to release the bitterness and anger in our hearts. Teach us to forgive as You have forgiven us, and help us to find healing in the process. We trust You to bring justice where it is needed, and we ask for Your strength to live in the freedom of forgiveness. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

---

Call to Action: If you are holding onto unforgiveness today, I invite you to bring it before God. It may take time, and it may be difficult, but know that God’s grace is sufficient for you. Choose to forgive, not for the other person’s sake, but for your own peace and healing.

Random thoughts Biblical Counseling

 

1.     Would you counsel someone of the opposite sex? Why or why not? What is the biblical rationale for your answer?

a.     This is a three parts question; therefore, I will address them in three parts:

                                      i.     Would you counsel someone of the opposite sex? The short answer is subjective to the core problem that is presented by the counselee. If the complaint is sexual in nature, I would refer the counselee to a female counselor. If the core issue is non-sexual in nature, a trusted third party must be in attended during every counselling session.

                                     ii.     Why or why not? Most certainly, we can be confident in our faith and convinced ourselves that we will not be lured into the temptation of falling into inappropriate relationship through fleshly temptation. However, the reality of our human nature, spending extended time transparently learning about sexual subject from a female can jeopardize one’s value. Maintaining clear boundaries of moral clarity is key to avoid situation that could lead to emotional turmoil and ultimately sin; hence, it is only wise that we must guard ourselves from these type temptations.

                                   iii.     What is the biblical rationale for your answer? Mark 7:21-23, “For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” Our fallen nature combined with our natural attraction to the female can compromise our moral judgment. Serious consideration must be given and not put ourselves in a position to be deceived.  Attraction to the opposite sex is our natural inclination; Romans 1:26-27, “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.” Attraction to the opposite sex is natural, but committing adulty is sin. Although these verses talked about homosexuality but wanted to point out that the natural attraction between the opposite sex within a counselling context can lead to sin.

 

2.     What is the role of church discipline in counseling? What biblical rationale would you give for your answer? What does Scripture teach about the process of church discipline? How do your answers to these questions inform your view of confidentiality in the counseling process?

a.     What is the role of church discipline in counseling? The foundation of church discipline is rooted in accountability; however, it’s benefit to the Biblical counselling process goes beyond just being accountable. The ultimate goal is not to punish but to restore. Hence, the assumption here is that someone has committed a sin and he or she is unrepented and has steer away from God and the church has a process that seek restoration with the unrepented sinner. Biblical Counselling process thrive when the counselor-counselee relation hinges on the ultimate trust that, perhaps, moved the counselee to a degree vulnerability that could left them open to be victimized. Moreover, the counselor must be transparent with the counselee and has an obligation to escalate the sin of the counselee through the process of church discipline. The church must step in to heal and restore. This leads into another variable within the counselor-counselee relationship, confidentiality. For the most part, trust is gained because both parties agreed on a certain degree of confidentiality. Secular counselling relationships hold confidentiality as the ultimate sacred order of counseling and is protected by State or Federal laws. In Biblical counselling, confidentiality is important, but the bible is the ultimate authority.   

b.     What biblical rationale would you give for your answer? One of the most details description of the escalation process is in, Matthew 18:15-17,

                                      i.     If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

                                     ii.     But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.

                                    iii.     If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; 

                                   iv.     and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Clearly, a process of escalation laid out by our Lord when we have factual knowledge about a committed sin by a brother. Paul also addresses this in Galatians 6:1, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” Paul encourages and warns us that not only we take this person through the process of restoration but also to watch ourself as we may fall into to the same trap of this sin.  

c.     What does Scripture teach about the process of church discipline? As mentioned above, Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus laid out a process for the church to follow when dealing with sins church’s members with the ultimate goal is repentance and reconciliation. It also worth mentioning that the church is to be light of this world, we are the example of the Gospel; hence, Paul wrote to the church in 1 Corinthians 5:12-13, What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.” Although seems harsh but Paul is arguing that we must keep the church holy as our Father in heaven is holy. The penetrating question here is how can maintain the holiness and purity of the body of Christ, the church? In I Corinthians 5:6-7, “Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.” Paul addresses the church about letting sin seep into the church. He compares sin in the church to yeast, which spreads and affects the whole batch of dough. Just as yeast can ruin a batch of dough, unaddressed sin can corrupt the entire church.

d.     How do your answers to these questions inform your view of confidentiality in the counseling process? As mentioned, the higher authority is God and His word. Confidentiality is to be kept but if the counselor and the counselee agreed that their relationship is to be directed by the scripture, then, confidentiality will answer to the scripture. Without accountability through church discipline, our counselling process is hollow. Hence, church discipline and biblical counselling goes hand in hand.

 

3.     Explain what is meant by self-confrontation on the counselor's part. Why is this so important? What Scripture(s) speak to this issue?

a.     Explain what is meant by self-confrontation on the counselor's part. Perhaps I will start with the counselee’s part: The fact is that we cannot change for the counselee; hence, as a counselor, one of our main tasks is to guide counselees into understanding biblical principles from the scripture and apply these to their lives so they can turn from their sinful ways and renew their lives in Christ. Nevertheless, on the counselor part, we ourselves has our own biases, prejudices, and assumptions. These assumptions and prejudices can induce distractions into the counselling process, this can negatively impact the counselling process. Therefore, speaking the Truth in Love is our approach. Collecting information by listening through truth in love. Giving counselling feedback through truth in love. Through truth in love, we foster trust, transparency, integrity, and honesty; hence, we invite a culture of biblical collaboration that build a relationship which adhered to biblical principles.    

b.     Why is this so important? Biblical change can only happen if we are in Christ. Thus, if we are not in Christ, there’s no possibility for a holistic biblical life renewal. As we walk through the counseling process with the counselee, listening with truth in love, gathering information with truth in love, and learn about the counselee life with truth in love. It is very critical that not only we understand them but understand the context of their issues—everyone back stories are different. Therefore, we must seek out understanding and stay biblically connected to emerging culture, understands our own emotional condition, and seek out to continuously biblically equip ourselves to counsel. Apart and separated from God, renewal is unlikely. The truth that sets biblical counseling and Christian faith apart is its unique confrontation of our inherent sinful nature, Romans 3:23, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Paul is articulating the fact that we as human are sinful and in need of a Savior for the redemption, not just the symptoms of our sins, but the entirety of our lives.

c.     What Scripture(s) speak to this issue? Self-Confrontation leads us toward reconciliation, 2 Corinthians 5:17-21: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: “The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” Paul reminds us that Christ came to reconcile us back to him but not penal judgement. Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Confronting sins through self-confrontation is not about being judged because Justice and Reconciliation was done at the cross. We are to speak the truth in love seeking reconciliation and restoration. Ephesians 4:15: "But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ."

 

 

4.     Describe the basic process of biblical change. Make certain you include a discussion of biblical passages that are the basis for your answer.

 

The basics process of biblical change has been given theological title: Sanctification. This is a life changing process by which the believer is continuously transformed into a new person in Christ. This begins with the recognition and conviction of sin and the need for transformation in the renewing to a new person in Christ. John 16:8, “When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment.” God pointing out that we are sinners which leads us to recognition that we all fall short of His glory. Roman 3:23-24, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Convicted of our sins and accepting God’s grace through his substitutional atonement at the cross. Sanctification repositioned us as believers that has accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior. This is the initial dedication of one’s life to be a follower of Christ. Positional sanctification is when the believer decided to lay the foundation of the new life in Christ. It is the point of conversion. We are set apart, as in Ephesians 1:4, “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” God had known of our chosen and adoption to be His children. Through the Holy Spirit, the foundation was laid for our becoming sonship through Christ. Paul addressed the church in 1 Corinthians 6:11, “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” Paul reminded the Corinthians (in past tense) that they have been sanctified which means that they must live out their lives as new creatures in Christ.

Our Sanctification is not a onetime event; it is a continuous process of maturing in Christ. It is a process whereas we grow from being an infant in our faith toward maturity in Christ. While positional sanctification marked our foundation in Christ and set us apart to God, we must now progressively live according to God’s will. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,” Paul is telling us here that we have been sanctified and now we must live a life that is holy and honorable. Progressive Sanctification is the process in which we live a life that is holy and honorable. Hence, live a life that is confirmed to the image of Jesus Christ: Romans 8:29, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Paul also reminds us in Roman 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Progressing in our maturity in Christ is not optional; if we are standing on the foundation of positional sanctification, progressive sanctification must demonstrate our growth in Christ. Not demonstrating progressive sanctification means that positional sanctification was never attained. Colossians 3:5-10, “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

Conviction of Sin and Repentance

Conviction of Sin 

The basic process of biblical change is a transformation that occurs as a person moves from living according to their old nature (sinful patterns) to living in alignment with God’s will through the power of the Holy Spirit. It is often described in Scripture as sanctification, the process by which believers are progressively conformed to the image of Christ. Biblical change is not about external behavior modification alone but about a deep, internal transformation that reflects the gospel's power to change hearts and lives.

Here’s an overview of the process of biblical change, grounded in key biblical passages:

1. Understanding the Need for Change: Conviction of Sin

The process of biblical change begins with the recognition of sin and the need for transformation. Conviction of sin is the work of the Holy Spirit, who exposes areas of life that are not aligned with God's will. In this stage, individuals are made aware of their need for God’s grace and transformation.

• John 16:8 – “When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment.”
• The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin, pointing out where we fall short of God’s standard, which leads to the recognition of our need for change.
• Romans 3:23 – “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
• This verse emphasizes that everyone is in need of change because everyone has sinned. True biblical change starts with acknowledging that we are not living as we should before God.

2. Repentance: Turning from Sin to God

Repentance is a key component of biblical change. It involves a change of heart and mind—a turning away from sin and self-reliance to God and His ways. It is not merely feeling sorry for sin but involves a deliberate decision to turn from sinful behavior and attitudes toward a life of obedience to God.

• Acts 3:19 – “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”
• Repentance leads to forgiveness and a refreshing work of God in our lives. The process of biblical change begins with a heart that desires to turn away from sin and back to God.
• 2 Corinthians 7:10 – “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
• Genuine repentance involves godly sorrow—a sorrow that leads to change and life. The focus is on turning to God rather than just feeling bad about the consequences of sin.

3. Renewing the Mind: Transformation of Thought and Perspective

Biblical change involves a transformation of the mind. The believer is called to renew their thinking by aligning it with God’s truth. This change in thinking is critical because what we believe directly influences how we live. True change cannot happen if our thoughts remain focused on worldly patterns and lies.

• Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
• The process of transformation happens through the renewal of the mind. As we fill our minds with God’s truth, our thoughts, desires, and behaviors begin to align with His will.
• Ephesians 4:23-24 – “To be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
• Renewal of the mind results in the putting off of the old self and the putting on of the new self, which is created in God’s image. This transformation takes place when we align our thinking with God’s Word.

4. Putting Off the Old Self and Putting On the New Self

As part of biblical change, believers are called to put off sinful behaviors, attitudes, and desires associated with their old nature and to put on the qualities of the new self, which reflect Christlikeness. This involves both a negative aspect (putting off) and a positive aspect (putting on).

• Colossians 3:5-10 – “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry... But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips... Put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”
• This passage emphasizes both the putting off of sinful patterns and the putting on of godly characteristics. The new self reflects the nature of Christ and is continually renewed as we grow in knowledge of Him.
• Ephesians 4:22-24 – “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
• Like in Colossians, we are encouraged to put off sinful behaviors and to put on godly behaviors that reflect our new identity in Christ.

5. Living by the Power of the Holy Spirit

Biblical change is not achieved by willpower or human effort alone but through the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit enables believers to live out the new life they are called to, empowering them to follow God’s will and live in obedience.

• Galatians 5:16-17 – “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh.”
• Walking by the Spirit enables believers to resist the temptations of the flesh and to live in a way that pleases God. The Holy Spirit gives the strength and guidance needed for lasting change.
• Philippians 2:13 – “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
• Biblical change occurs as God works in us. The Holy Spirit not only gives the power to change but also works in us to desire and carry out God’s will.

6. Obedience and Fruitfulness: Evidence of Change

The evidence of biblical change is seen in the way a person’s life becomes increasingly characterized by obedience to God’s commands and the fruit of the Spirit—traits like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control. True change is not just about changing external behaviors, but about producing the fruit that reflects the transformation within.

• John 15:4-5 – “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”
• Jesus teaches that abiding in Him is essential for bearing lasting fruit. Biblical change results in fruitfulness, which is the evidence of a transformed life.
• Galatians 5:22-23 – “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
• The fruit of the Spirit is the natural result of a life changed by God. It is evidence that a person is living according to God’s will and power.

Conclusion: Biblical Change as a Lifelong Process

Biblical change is not instantaneous but is a lifelong process that involves repentance, the renewal of the mind, the putting off of the old self, the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, and the cultivation of fruit. This process is deeply rooted in a relationship with Christ and depends on His grace and the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit. The ultimate goal of biblical change is to become more like Christ, living in obedience to God’s will, and bringing glory to Him.

Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands

 Book Brief

Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands

By Paul David Tripp

 

Author Background

 

After reading Paul Tripp short introduction on his ministry website: https://www.paultripp.com/about I came away with the understanding that Tripp is devoted Christian that is dedicated to the ministry of Christ while clearly understanding the impact and the realities of life in a fallen world. A well-educated person with an intentional pathway that was determined early on, Paul touches every aspect of Christ’s ministry leading him to launch his own ministry in 2006. And most importantly, a Godly husband of 50 years, father, and grandfather that still find times to touch people lives all around the world.

 

Thesis/Purpose

 

Tripp presented this as a people focused approach rather than problem focused approach. Hence, Personal Ministry is just that, personal! Counselling that focuses on the person and the heart by engaging the counselee through personal relationship. By understanding that we are just mere tools in the hands of the Redeemer, Christ works through us as He sees fit within our redemptive relationships. We are in the ministry of reconciliation as Ambassadors of Christ, (2 Corinthians 5).

 

 

Argument and Support

 

1.    Relational approach 

 

The biological function of the heart is to mainly pumps and regulates oxygenated blood throughout the body and deoxygenated blood back to the lung. Much like the philosophical and spiritual function of the heart, communal and spiritual connection is vital for its health. Therefore, it is critically important that we established connection with the heart and understand the person biblically through the heart before digesting the problem. In many cases, the counselee defines the problem with partiality toward protecting the perceptual vulnerability of the self. We are to rely on the sufficiency of Christ through the inerrancy of the scripture as we work through Biblical Counselling primarily to penetrate the heart of the counselee. This is not a mere fixing of the old heart but a total renewal and uprooting of the old heart replacing it with the new.  

 

Nevertheless, understanding our roles, serving as the instrument of change is critical. The counselee must understand our biblically based love for them; they must see it in our actions. Just as Christ gave himself for us, we ought to love them Christ like. Speaking the truth in Love, as an infant in Christ we must nature the relationship as such an uncompromising biblically truth that is wrap around love. Understating their struggle as we suffer with them as Christ suffered with us (1 Peter 2:21). “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.” Christ has set an example for us on we ought to be that instrument in the hands of the Redeemer.

 

2.    Personal Ministry that is relentlessly focus on the heart

 

Our work is cut out, sanctification is the Godly renewal process of a redemptive relationship between God’s and His people. Often the case, we are caught between the two realities (1 Corinthians 15:45-50),

1.      Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God

2.      A life-giving spirit, as is the heavenly man, so also are those who are of heaven.

 

Henceforth, we navigate the relationship from a flesh and blood to a spiritual seeking counselee. Tripp’s Personal Ministry acknowledges that everyone is a counselor to some degree, we are all influenced by others whether it is being done formally or informally, Christians or non-Christians, or some other medium, as it is now, more prevalent than ever with the accessibility of social media. This creates a battlefield for the easily deceitful heart, a battle between the flesh and the spirit. The indwelling spirit uprooted the old and brought in the new. Hence, it is merely not enough that God forgave us, but Christ must occupy our hearts and fight the battle for us. The heart is the key to real spiritual renewal. Once the heart is renewed, a new person is created, (Ezekiel 36:26-27), “…and I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you…” (2 Corinthians 5:17) “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

 

Strengths and Weaknesses

 

1.    Weakness: What about Forgiveness?

 

Forgiveness was hardly given any attention by Tripp. The question is: why does people seek counselling? The need for counselling arises from dramatic and tragic events which has victimized the counselees. The relationship between the counselee (victim) and the perpetrator is one that must be clothed with forgiveness. In fact, Counselee does not become a counselee until he/she seeks after the redemptive relationship with Christ. Therefore, the preliminary condition is to leave behind the agony of the past and move toward seeking: This is done through the process of forgiveness. This is the example that Christ has given us that we forgive for He has forgiven us (Colossians 3:13). The forgiveness by Christ was the first covenant, “Christ first forgiven us” (Ephesians 4:32). Once God forgave us, he came and sat at our table to fellowship with us. Forgiveness is a process of letting go of the wrongdoing. It is the process of restoring to what it was like prior to the wrongdoing. Forgiveness is the ultimate demonstration of God’s Grace, Love, and Mercy. Hence, the process of forgiveness needs to be humbly guided by the wisdom of a counsellor through the heart seeking love of Christ.

Preliminary to any actuality of counselling, forgiveness must be taken place. Forgiveness is a form of voluntary suffering, the suffering moved from the perpetrator to victim. As if someone wrecked my car and I forgave him—this does not make the cost of the act evaporate. To forgive means moving the cost of the car from the offender to myself. Hence, moving the relationship to pre-accident condition. This is a core element of moving into the healing process as we guide the counselee into renewal of the heart in Love.

2.    Weakness: Entering the Relationship

 

While it is very practical that we must find ways to enter into a relationship with those that are in needs, we must recognize our own weaknesses. I agree with Tripp on capturing opportunities that God has placed in our paths; but how are we to recognize those opportunities as potential trap for ourselves.

 

The concept of an “entry gate” is good because it organizes the process into a formal structural but recognizing God-given “entry gate” present a challenge as we enter the personal space of this person. At this level we focus on the person and not the problem. We love the person and not judge them for their problems. How long is it that we continue to focus on the person? What is the threshold for turnback from the entry gate? Tripp does not offer a recovery process once entered the entry gate and somehow identified this as trap.

 

 

3.    Strength: Foundation in Love

 

I love listening to sermon that are deep in theological encouragement but the problem with those sermons, afterward, I found myself entertained but void of understand the love of Christ. As the song goes, What about Love? Tripp argues that the foundation of personal ministry and transformation of people is Love. If God is Love than Love must be the core ingredient of our message, whether it is being told from the pulpit or through a counseling relationship. Emotional IQ of the heart must be driven by love; out of all these moral virtues, Faith, Hope, and Love, the greatest of these is Love (1 Corinthians 13). The Apostle Paul does not shy away from letting us know that if we don’t have Love, we gain nothing and we are just like a resounding gong no matter what spiritual gifts or material wealth we may possessed.

 

The connection between the Heart and Love follows on what Christ has given us as the recipient of His Love. Nothing can in creation can separate us from the Love of Christ (Romans 8:35-39). This fundamental to the understanding and the spiritual renewal of the heart is to know that nothing can separate us from the Love of God. For a counselling relationship, delighting in God’s Love is the highest degree of Reconciliation with God. Most counselee seek counseling because they were under some harsh conditions to earn love. They were required to be something or act certain ways to receive affection or love. Tripp focus on the heart and love is right on as our primary task is to give direction to the counselee toward God’s love that does not base on any condition—unconditional Love.

 

Why would the Professor make me read this?

This book is very well written. It organizes in a way that it can be a practical workbook for biblical counseling. The book laid out example situations and take the reader through the pre-counselling, counseling, and post counselling process. This one is a keeper. 

 

 

Discussion Starters:

1.    Personal ministry aims at reaching the roots and not merely seeking behavioral change at the surface but permanently uproot the old root and plant new root. This is a combination of relentless personal evangelism and Biblical Counseling for those that are in needed of change, but how do we avoid the traps of just replacing the fruits? Perhaps not a fair question, but what is success looks like and what is failure looks like within the parameters of personal ministry?

 

2.    Helping people in need of change is very complicated when attempting to help those that thought of themselves as not having any problems. The question is: A homeless person walked into the Sunday morning service at church—fumed with alcohol, clothes are solid mud and torn several places, smell like he had not taken a shower for weeks. How do we approach him? Where is the entry gate? 

 

3.      In the context of counseling those with needs, how do we discern their experience of   God?