Father's
Day
May-20-2018
I
got there this Sunday morning, to my brother's house; my father came down from
his room and opened the front door. The dull smile on his face matches his
sacking eyes coupled with dim and gray fuzzy silver hairs as he murmured while
opening the door, “hi kepa.” Kepa is a part of my middle name as I am commonly
called--Tangata'olakepa. He sat down on the couch as I sat by the dining table
in front of him and asked, “Fefe hake?” He mentioned the ache and discomfort
that he, sometimes endured. Jokingly he said, “mahalo koe ha’u ia ‘a e
kaume’a”—maybe it is death knocking.
May-20-2018
I
got there this Sunday morning, to my brother's house; my father came down from
his room and opened the front door. The dull smile on his face matches his
sacking eyes coupled with dim and gray fuzzy silver hairs as he murmured while
opening the door, “hi kepa.” Kepa is a part of my middle name as I am commonly
called--Tangata'olakepa. He sat down on the couch as I sat by the dining table
in front of him and asked, “Fefe hake?” He mentioned the ache and discomfort
that he, sometimes endured. Jokingly he said, “mahalo koe ha’u ia ‘a e
kaume’a”—maybe it is death knocking.
This
Sunday was Father's Day for the Tongan's community. Hence, it is a common
tradition to honor fathers during Sunday church service. We went to Church and
were given leis by the ladies because it was Father's Day; he resisted, for he
is not one that like attention being drawn to himself. However, he thought
better of it because he didn’t want to make the ladies feel unappreciated. The
service was long; about an hour and half later, it was over, we were one of the
first out the door.
Back
from Church, he opened the door to the house as he whispered “namu lelei tama
koe luu” He probably sat at church with his mind on the “Luu” he went up and
change came back down and fixed him a luu; he bowed his head for a prayer;
hummm, unusually long for a dinner prayer. As he ate—“ifo tama ki’i luu” We
talked about family in Tonga, family around the US and his plan on going with
‘Ofa and Ngia to Tonga. He is looking forward to it; although he feels weak, he
is determined to go and help his niece (Sesi).
Since
my father left Tongan in 1975, it was his ultimate mission to bring us to the
United States. Us meaning my mother and all of my sibling. I could not imagine
the difficulty he faced. His experiences were dictated by a family dynamic
ruled by a matriarchal grandmother, (my Grandmother Manongi). Her grand vision
captured the entirety of her children. She was a tough woman that doesn't hold
back speaking her minds regardless of who was listening. Slightly controlling
and understood the concept of duplicity. She had a fearless yet respectful bond
with her children. Her children placed her on a pedestal. (cont…)
On
my way home, this song came on the radio. It is an old familiar song by Dan
Forgelberg but some of the verses spoke to how my relationship and how I look
up to my father.
The
leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band
I
thank you for the music and your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go
I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got tough
And papa, I don't think I said I love you near enough
Tangata'olakepa
This
Sunday was Father's Day for the Tongan's community. Hence, it is a common
tradition to honor fathers during Sunday church service. We went to Church and
were given leis by the ladies because it was Father's Day; he resisted, for he
is not one that like attention being drawn to himself. However, he thought
better of it because he didn’t want to make the ladies feel unappreciated. The
service was long; about an hour and half later, it was over, we were one of the
first out the door.
Back
from Church, he opened the door to the house as he whispered “namu lelei tama
koe luu” He probably sat at church with his mind on the “Luu” he went up and
change came back down and fixed him a luu; he bowed his head for a prayer;
hummm, unusually long for a dinner prayer. As he ate—“ifo tama ki’i luu” We
talked about family in Tonga, family around the US and his plan on going with
‘Ofa and Ngia to Tonga. He is looking forward to it; although he feels weak, he
is determined to go and help his niece (Sesi).
Since
my father left Tongan in 1975, it was his ultimate mission to bring us to the
United States. Us meaning my mother and all of my sibling. I could not imagine
the difficulty he faced. His experiences were dictated by a family dynamic
ruled by a matriarchal grandmother, (my Grandmother Manongi). Her grand vision
captured the entirety of her children. She was a tough woman that doesn't hold
back speaking her minds regardless of who was listening. Slightly controlling
and understood the concept of duplicity. She had a fearless yet respectful bond
with her children. Her children placed her on a pedestal. (cont…)
On
my way home, this song came on the radio. It is an old familiar song by Dan
Forgelberg but some of the verses spoke to how my relationship and how I look
up to my father.
The
leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band
I
thank you for the music and your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go
I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got tough
And papa, I don't think I said I love you near enough
Tangata'olakepa
