Where can I find myself?

I found

In my mirror, I found history.

In my children, I found legacy.

In my wife, I found companionship.

In my Family, I found trust.

In my Tongan, I found culture.

In my fear, I found courage.

In my anger, I found rejection.

In my work, I found control.

In my joy, I found hope.

In my vision, I found passion.

In my sorrow, I found self-pity.

In my excellence, I found satisfaction.

In my procrastination, I found weakness. 

In my creativity, I found possibilities

In my solitude, I found meaning.

In my old age, I found wisdom.

In my St Paul, I found community.

In my service to others, I found purpose.

In my Jesus, I found redemption.

In my God, I found Everlasting Love

In my Death, I found Eternal Freedom.

Again, I found myself a child of God.

Where have I found myself?

Inspired by Dr. Robert Monk on 30th. of March, 2014

- Finau Tangata'olakepa Siale
3/30/2014

Holy Freedom

The iconic stage of my soul

The losses of my existence

The experiences that were forced

The interest that never happen

The thrill that I never had

The conclusion of my non-experience

The toleration of being vanished

I felt a funeral in my head

I know it is ridiculous

I know it is thinking less

I know it is feeling less

I know it is seeing less

I know it is tasting less

I know it is smelling less

Concentration camp of numbness

I felt a funeral in my head

To whom who is beyond good and evil?

The depressed soul that veiled

The heart that disguised

For my spirit that meander throughout

Oh! The secret that I’ve not share

The vitality that I long for

The disability of my mind

I felt a funeral in my head

Where have all the blossom gone?

Veiled happiness, can you take a peek?

Unwanted love, can you love again?

The pleasure of my soul sails on

My desire is muddy in my grave

Yearning only for the everlasting

Hiding me from thy transcendent spirit

The moral imperative of thy mystery

I felt a funeral in my head

Holy Freedom

- Finau Tangata'olakepa Siale

Recharge Momentarily

Some of you may have heard the saying: “Unchallenged life is a life not worth living” or, may be it is: “If you are not learning, you are dying,” for the most part, I struggle with these statements, as I feel, at times, I just wants to be idled, left alone—hence, not challenge and not learning. However, the truth is, life never gives us momentarily idle or leaves us alone, something or someone is always pulling/pushing us one direction or the other’s. Therefore, I think, rather than let the day-to-day details push us around; we must build our capacities for solidarity yet be inimitable in our own individuality. Yes, I am serious!

As most of you know, I am a checklister and a QDMer, you all know how much I love to put tasks in your Outlook’s and I just love it when a task is done timely. But as much as I love working off a calendar full of checklist, I make it a very special time for me to step away from the task-based, project-based, and calendar based day-to-day details of each day and build my capacity for solidarity yet be inimitable in my individuality—yes, know that I exist in this world which are surrounded with others yet, I am my own-individual-self and every decision I make impacted all.

I am not saying that building capacity for solidarity yet be inimitable in our individuality comes in the same form for everyone; but we must allow our soul, mind, and body to recharge momentarily each day with whatever it is that makes us meditative. For me, it is the first thing every morning when I wake up, it is the best time for me to be reflective, but the funny thing is, I even make that a calendar entry in my outlook—so much for staying off checklist momentarily.  


- Finau Tangata'olakepa Siale

Manifest Destiny

To think that we come into a process and fix anything because it was broken by someone is an assumption that we conferred on ourselves in order to inflate our value toward the process. We do not fix anything; we evolve, create, innovate, and move forward—Fixing is a supposition that automatically assign wrongness to someone or something else. Rather than assigning wrongdoings, our purpose should always be forward looking, what can we learn and move on. Assigning Falses is a process of backward looking; it is a process of living in the past. The energy that cost us to assign the blame can be best spent on fixing the problem. To think that we are only better because someone else did poorly is to affirm that our values are predicated on failures of others. Manifest Destiny is the assumption that we are better and you MUST live the way we live because you are better for that; how arrogant can we get?

- Finau Tangata'olakepa Siale